Homer: I’d say he’s coming out of the pep closet. Buddy! Pantyhose. And it's a male addiction, have you ever heard of a woman being a gambling addict? First I’ll just reach in and pull my legs out. Bart says the casino was stupid anyway and a squeaky voiced teen laughs, sarcastically telling Bart to build his own casino. Homer’s Brain: Quiet. Homer: Why don’t those stupid idiots let me in their stupid club for jerks? But the answer is no! planetclaireTV has been around in one form or another since 1999, offering a variety of quotes, quips, bon mots and assorted nonsense. Homer: Tell him I’m going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love. Homer: Lisa, just because you’re ten feet tall doesn’t mean you can tell me what to do. It might be you! {points to the PSI sign} Poor Self Esteem. The security cameras capture Homer's rampage, and when Burns sees him he orders Homer to be fired. Just quiet down. Marge: Forget it! Homer: It’s called headvertising. Let me have half of it. You have confused India with Indiana, Indiana with Illinois, and the Cubs with the Dodgers. Homer: Here are your messages: “You have thirty minutes to move your car.” “You have ten minutes.” “Your car has been impounded.” “Your car has been crushed into a cube.” “You have thirty minutes to move your cube.”. Couch Gag Practical and alluring. Legality typically depends on your country of origin, as well as the district or region from where you are accessing the website. Well, that’s nothing because you have a gambling problem. Homer: Son, while your mother and little mother are out I’m going to let you in on a deep dark family secret. Homer: Heh heh heh. Homer: I guess some people never change. If it is the online gambling that is causing problems, there is software available to blocks casinos loading. Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand. Wiggum: Mr. Simpson, is it possible you’re leading a double or triple life that your wife doesn’t know about? Homer: Wow. {he imagines it} Heh heh heh. Well YOU have a gambling problem! Marge: I’m worried about the kids, Homie. It was supposed to help researchers at different universities share data sets. It certainly answered a lot of my questions about wang enhancement. by Marcus Richards April 4, 2020, 3:50 pm. Bart: What’d you do? How To Tell Your Parents You Have A Gambling Problem, hollywood slots bangor poker, does amy casino in vegas have dean martin slot machines, best mobile slots usa players Another option if you struggle with focus is to bet on sports. However when he returns her to Marge, Marge just places her back down and returns to the slots, and Barney hypocritically comments on her impulse control problem, just before drinking some quarters, thinking they're beer. Homer: Canada? But don’t worry, Officer. I’ve got nothing against Maggie. You have to know when to jump on the ship. Bart: So Dean Martin would show up at the last minute and do everything in just one take? Where’s the University of Notre Dame? Homer: Dot com. The Office (2005) - S09E06 The Boat. Homer: Marge, don’t worry. Dirty, screaming and ripped away from the woman I love. Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein Homer: Because she stopped loving me. Homer: What? A gambling addiction or problem is often associated with other behavior or mood disorders. Homer: Aw, what a gyp. Flanders : Yeah, I-I guess I do. Homer: Yahoo! Homer: What kind of example would I be if I didn’t take revenge on things? Homer: Because they might say no. Homer: You couldn’t be more wrong, Lisa. Homer spies Marge who is gambling and winning more money. He rapped all day, from April to May $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) How did this happen? A group of crows is called a murder. Now I know why pimps are so happy. Were there Oompa Loompas? Homer: Bart will play Apu. Polly shouldn’t be! I’m too fat. If I stop gambling now, I'll have to admit I'm a total loser. Marge: This is terrible! Scientist: I’m sorry, we don’t play god here. Marge: What’s this? [8F04] Bart: Hey, how come Lisa gets a pony? Apu: Such a product does not exist, sir. Aw, what a gyp. Isn’t Mick cool? Homer: Stupid family. You killed the zombie Flanders. Carl: No, we won't. Marge: Homer! That triumvirate of Twinkies merely overwhelmed my resolve. - Well, you have a gambling problem! Honk honk punch. Homer: Nonsense, Marge. If I don’t, Buffalo. Homer: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem. With Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith. Bart about his Speedo: I feel so European. Homer: Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom. Gerry Cooney as himself Robert Goulet as himself Phil Hartman as Troy McClure (credited; but no lines) Homer: Well you have a gambling problem! Bart: Yeah. I’ll kill us. Homer: No, I’m going to ask Marge. -150, +110). […] No, it’s not the worst excuse I ever thought up. Marge: I think he needs a dog house. Homer: That’s right. You don’t even know if it’s true. Homer: That’s ridiculous. Homer: Because if I do it enough maybe they’ll start to pay me. Homer: Okay, Ziff, you get her for the weekend. I even took some pills I found on the floor and still nothing. Practical and alluring. There is a 20x casino or 10x sportsbook wager requirement within 30 days to get the full bonus. Back at home, when Lisa wakes from a bad dream of the boogeyman, a gun-toting Homer hides himself and the children behind a mattress in terror, shooting from his cover at anything he thinks might be the boogeyman. Source: gamblesmart.ca. Nod if you understand. If you have a gambling addiction, you may feel an uncontrollable urge to buy lottery tickets, visit casinos, play slot machines, bet on sports, or gamble online. Scully: Mr. Simpson, it’s a felony to lie to the FBI. Homer: He was a zombie? Mr. Burns: Simpson. Sideshow Bob: How can one ordinary man have so many enemies? Homer: Look. I’m drunk. That’s the whole point of Moby Dick. I need my Miss Buxley fix. Homer: Apu, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve learned that life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. Erotic cakes. But what was even more like a drug was the drugs. Lady, you got the wrong file. Our forecast calls for flurries of passion followed by an extended period of gettin’ it on. Like certain drugs, gambling can be addictive. He was just poured into that uniform. This is the biggest frame-up since OJ! And the value of nothing.” 1F08 The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese. Please check that How To Tell You Have A Gambling Problem your target operators do indeed have the necessary certifications and / or gaming body approvals. View Entire Discussion (9 Comments) More posts from … What happens inside the brain of a gambling addict when they make a bet - and can the secret to their addiction be found within the brain itself? Homer: A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center. And I have to pee. You have the power. Other customers need to use that dressing room. Only one thing can stop him - microscopic germs. Homer: I’m a people person. Marge: Homer, you have to go out there, face that mob and apologize for what you did. I won’t be in for the rest of the week. Homer: The Nobel Prize? Not our Chinatown. I may also be so clouded with rage that subconsciously I want you to lose. Lisa, vampires are make believe, just like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. Bart: Crazy scheme, crazy scheme, scheme. Mr. Burns adopts this notion and builds the "Mr. Burns' Casino." I think for this being your first soundboard, you should keep making them and one day you truly will have a masterpiece which will be worth 10 stars! Lisa: Not if you use a dimmer switch. Lisa: No, go up. Tab Spangler: I’m driving. You can play slots without needing to be focused, but they have a high house edge in comparison to most other gambling activities. Among his many defects are alcoholism, sleeping on the job, a general disregard for the law, a gambling problem, and child abuse in the regular strangling of Bart. Game, over! Tab Spangler: We got a long drive ahead. Lisa: Thank you, Dad! Oscar Wilde: Homer, there are only two tragedies in life. Homer: Marge, I can’t wear a pink shirt to work. January, 2021. Gee, that’s odd. It’s your dad. Tab Spangler: I’ve smelled it. Homer: We were sitting in Barney’s car eating packets of mustard. It’s uter-US, not uter-YOU. Maggie crawls away from her, and is almost mauled by the Tigress Gemima, with Barney Gumble barely snatching her up in time. With a stomach full of bread. There’s a middle ground. Marge: You know, you are a member of a very exclusive club. Homer: “Tip 1: Live each day like it was your last.” {cut to Homer sitting on a curb, crying}. Original Airdate Homer: Why did I take such punishment? Dr. Hibbert: Now he may try to slobber on your crotch. Homer’s Brain: No, no! Homer Simpson! Why should we leave America to visit America Junior! Alaska requires water well contractors and well service companies to have a general or subcontractor's license, but not to be specifically certified for well construction. Bart: Dad, if you take me to Vegas I’ll teach you how to cheat at blackjack. While some Gibraltar operators do include titles from Netent and Microgaming, most will feature picks by Yggdrasil, NYX, and Betsoft. Homer: But Marge, I was a political prisoner! Homer’s Brain: Okay, don’t use reverse psychology. Lisa: Well, its a country in Europe. Wait a minute. Homer: For more information, visit our website, www.aljazeera.com. I will not say 'Springfield' just to get applause. The cops have daddy’s prints on file. You know, Skittlebrau. 3 secs. If you have a problem with compulsive gambling, you may continually chase bets that lead to losses, hide your behavior, deplete savings, accumulate debt, or even resort to theft or fraud to support your addiction. Homer: Lisa, do me a favor. I will say Good day to you sir! What is this crap?! Homer: Woo hoo! Marge: We’ll all help. Oscar Wilde: Experience is simply the name we give to our mistakes. Homer: Oh. Homer: The internet wasn’t created for mockery. Sports Newscaster: But first, professional sports continues its downward march into the gutter. We’ll definitely have a talk with the boy. If you have a problem with gambling and you'd like to stop, support and treatment is available. Homer: That sounds like a wager to me! That’s right, I said rapping tomato Blood in the Bronco. Here are some numbers for therapists who can help" or "I think you should get help for your compulsive gambling. Homer: All the time. Are you a problem gambler? This baby’s sure to kill something. Principal Skinner suggests that legalized gambling has helped rejuvenate run-down economies, and that it can work for Springfield as well. Episode Number I admire you for the strength you have to not be pulled in by his gambling problem and becoming an enabler. Traveler: You ignorant American. Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart’s activities but then I’d be afraid of smothering him. Homer SimpsonMarge SimpsonMr. The human wang is a beautiful thing. Marge: Another thing I’ve been wanting to talk to you about…. Homer: That’s an odd way to start handing out medals. Down there. Co-worker: What’ll I tell the boss? Homer: Lisa, can you open the window? And therefore up to something. In fact, I’ll be the nicest man in town. Michael Jackson: Hi, I’m Michael Jackson from the Jacksons. Oh and, ah, change your pants. If you agree, signify by getting indignant. Marge: Now before we get there, you have to put this blindfold on. Smithers admires what appears to be a scale model of the plane, but Burns insists that it is the full-sized version. Homer: .10. To subscribe, send email to: listserv@latrobe.edu.auin the body of the message include the following: subscribe problem-gambling. The suit that makes me completely invulnerable to bear attacks. Homer: Eh, what can you do. Self-help groups are helpful for people with gambling … Screw up like the Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus? Your mother’s only trying to help. The toaster’s never lied to me before. Homer, "You have a gambling problem." You can increase your chances of winning in certain types of betting by understanding how the odds work and any relevant game strategies, but you cannot guarantee the outcome. Voice: Yahoo. Homer: I’m really glad you corrected me, Lisa. Springfield is the world’s fattest town. 2.1 secs . The Indy 500? Homer: Why would women want to go to a gym if there were no men there watching them and judging them? Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. It’s clear to me now. But I don’t go in for these backdoor shenanigans. So, what can you do to protect yourself? I … So flawless Flanders needs help from Stinky pants Simpson. Homer: Did you know that everyday Mexican gays sneak into this country and unplug our brain dead ladies? Homer: Marge, I didn’t tell them personal stuff. But quite another for him to play my theremin! Every sign is wrong! Cossom and Furrer urge people to reach out, even if they just have a … Bart: What’s your system? (Groans.) In your face, Milwaukee! Bart: Yep. - Remember when I-- - Homer! But there won’t be time. Homer: Oh sure, it’s easy to point out my faults. CBS great. Homer: Yeah. Homer: I dunno, drug lab? With smart phones, we have any form of gambling you can imagine in our pockets. View planetclaireTV’s profile on Facebook, View PlanetclaireOrg’s profile on Google+. Homer: Can you recommend a doctor that will? Marge: I don’t like you ogling her! Homer: Oh! If you don’t have a wife I have kidnapped your brother. The next day, Bart intercepts Robert Goulet to perform at his casino, when he was hired to perform at Mr. Burns's casino; Goulet is a hit, singing the children's favorite "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells" and accidentally smacking Milhouse in the face with his microphone, and rather enjoys himself. Homer: You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine! Homer: Hey! From now on the only thing I’ll ever do for you is co-sign if you want a gun. Homer: Marge, it takes two to lie. {hits tree}. Marge: Homer, when you forgive someone, you can't throw it back at them like that. Lisa: I don’t like McNuggets. By. Maybe the internet has the information I need. So it’s for what? The program is rock solid. Earthquake? But no funny stuff. How you solved crimes I’ll never know. That’s the death for me! Homer: I’m taking a shortcut. Corgan: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins. The one that says, “Don’t worry about it. I was thinking along the lines of “No TV and no beer make Homer… something something.” {after the shortcut} Alright, we’re here. Homer: Come on, Bart. This is the worst place yet. Maude Flanders: My eyes have been soiled! Or, they quickly change and then quickly change back. If you say Jimmy Fallon, I’ll know you’re lying. Marge: That’s not what I meant. Hee hee hee. You have to touch all the bases. Lisa: Oh my god! Homer: What? Insurance Agent: Are you a smoker? Hippies? Lisa: Like Halloween and Christmas, April Fools Day traces its origins to pagan ritual. Homer: Yeah, but what’re you going to do. It was! Simpsons TV Show. I'm used to seeing people promoted ahead of me ... friends, co-workers, Tibor. Lisa: You can’t post that on the internet. Ned: How do you do it, Homer? Homer: I didn’t, but now Daddy’s special medicine—(raises voice menacingly) which you must never use because it will ruin your life—lets Daddy see and hear magical things you will never experience. After realizing how much he misses the plant, Burns decides to return to it. At the house, Lisa tells Marge of an upcoming 50 US States pageant at Springfield Elementary School. No no no no! Homer: I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there’s no god. Lisa: I get the idea. Surgeon: Okay, count backwards from ten. Marge: Homer! Our top story: Springfield’s cake hole has been shut forever. Homer: Huh? I am evil Homer ... eskimos.wav: He he he. And by funny stuff I mean hand holding, googoo eyes, misdirected woo—which is pretty much any John Woo film. That’s no reason to block the TV. Mr. Burns: I suggest you get off my lawn. Bart: Hey guys, just so you don’t hear any wild rumors, I’m being indicted for fraud in Australia. Homer: This isn’t India! Homer: You mean Lisa? Mr. Burns and Mayor Quimby work together to build a casino, but Burns objects to several prototypes until he develops his own design: Mr. Burns' Casino, with "sex appeal and a catchy name". The Simpsons (1989) - S05E10 Comedy - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. On the back of your head? Marge: Well that still doesn’t explain why you ate my soap. Well, maybe it could be an idea to have a coffee and a doughnut before, or while, spinning at the reels of Donuts, a video slot produced by Big Time Gaming which has enough fun and features to make you drool at the prospect of big wins. Krusty: Eh, it’s a mix of voodoo and Methodist. Homer: I bet this is all a big surprise, huh? They’ll do something with you that they hate? You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons. Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it. Kent Brockman: Good evening. We’re a team. Homer: And we can’t watch FOX because they own those chemical weapon plants in Syria. “Acting childish.” “Kidnapping.” “Child abuse.” Oh my god, he did it! You ate three desserts tonight. Marge: I’m not saying it won’t work, I’m just saying it’s dishonest. Homer: Sleeping bags on the floor, a roaring fire. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911. Marge: This is the worst thing you’ve ever done! Can’t read that one, my thumb’s over it. Al: Show up tomorrow, bring three rags. Homer: I’ve made my choice. Homer: I told you last night, No! Homer: Hm. Homer: Florida? The law requires a five-day waiting period. Lisa: I don’t know. Homer: Triple? Lisa: However. Homer’s Brain: Use reverse psychology. Homer’s Brain: This is it, Homer. It’s a biopsychological disorder that can be identified through a list of symptoms and requires a specific treatment type. pause Now I’m just stuck. Adults always blame kids for everything. And judging by how tight they are, I’m never going to be anyone else’s either. Planning to fly back to the plant, he orders Smithers to board the model plane... at gunpoint. Lisa: No. I am gay.”. . Homer: That’s not how I remember it. Homer: The only thing that can make bacon more delicious is seeing how it’s made. I’m kinda like Jesus, but not in a sacrilegious way. Homer: In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics! Homer: Who am I clowning? Marge: Well it creeps me out. Homer: “I’m married to the sea.” “I don’t want to kill you, but I will.”, Homer: And if that doesn’t work, six simple words: “I’m not gay. During a town meeting, Principal Skinner pitches the idea of opening a casino. Homer: We can and will. Those dames are cheesed. Homer: Well thank you honey! Here are some places that treat your condition." Homer: Fine. Do you know anything about Germany? Marge: Hmm. I’m not going to be a surrogate mother. Written By Marge: Homer, you’re going too. Homer: But Marge, it works on any Ayatollah! Homer: Right. Al: When it happens, you’ll know. Homer: Maybe so, but Dawson is gonna be bummed. Well, you'd think so, but there is an exception. Marge: Homer, when you forgive someone you can’t throw it back at them like that. Homer: You’re the only one who won’t shut up about it! Why Can't I Just Stop? Happy? Homer: English? We’ll change it when we get home. What are you eating now? Mental health. Homer: Shame on all of you! They’ll thank you in the morning for stealing Flanders’ junk. Bart: Like what? Bart: Yes! And I got a bucket on my head. I wonder if it’s theses. Homer: That’s it! My sweet Margie! If you recognize that you may have a problem with your gambling, talk with your primary care doctor about an evaluation or seek help from a mental health professional. Up one and one half. TV: It’s eleven o’clock. You’re gonna get lost. Marge, "That's true. I pity those poor suckers on the freeway. Gambling can be as destructive an addiction as there is. Fat Tony: I didn’t say anything about gay. In fact everyone did. Homer: This is Homer Simpson, aka Happy Dude. Homer: Fine. Homer: Hors d’oeuvres, big fancy desserts and my wife is paying for everything. Marge: Homey, what’s that? Good. Homer: Eh. Homer, presumed author of the Iliad and the Odyssey. Then, while Marge waits for Homer's shift to end at Burns's casino, she finds a quarter on the floor and uses it to play a slot machine. Homer: But I’m not a genius. Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson. It’s like when we stopped paying the phone bill. Lisa, you’re extremely depressed. Homer: Marge give me a break. And you have to come sober! Homer: There once was a rapping tomato Since airing, the episode has received mostly positive reviews from television critics. Lisa: You said his name two seconds ago. I’ve never heard of anything so negligent. 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